By: Kiiza Akiiki
I was listening to the radio a few days back and the presenters were discussing a problem about a man whose fiancé had refused to disclose her pregnancy. According to him, it was his mother who told him about the pregnancy. He confronted his wife, wanting to know why his wife kept it a secret. Three months was really long.
Although the woman denied it at first, she admitted that it was true. She was “ashamed”. But why would anyone do that? Did she want it to be a surprise? Didn’t the man want a baby this early that she was scared to open up?
Men can be funny sometimes. When he is deeply in love, he talks about all sorts of things. And because women believe easily, they end up being trapped. In such a situation, a man will never agree or listen to your nonsense. Most men just need to enjoy the moment; they hate being tagged to any kind of responsibilities.
Recently someone told me of how he separated from his wife because she conceived without his consent. He had not wanted to have another child before six years elapsed. He gave her two options; leave his home or abort.
In his conversation, I realised the woman wasn’t given a chance to explain herself. The best option was to leave and start afresh with her pregnancy. But was it real? Was it called for? Was she to blame? This guy wasn’t fair!
Sometimes I fail to know what our dear friends [men] really want. He talks about this and then turns his back on you later. Why? Hope they don’t take us [women] for fools who can’t decide or know what we want.
In most cases women go through hell and are always skeptical of whether the new relationship will work out. Pregnancy is something that should be between two people. There is need to agree because if it starts with arguing, then even the child, at birth, will not receive that deserved parental love.
Without intent to bore you, I need to caution my girls that if he’s not ready, don’t risk. Be sure about what he wants. If it is okay with him, then you can give birth to 100 babies at once.
Take time to learn your spouse before you decide to engage in anything stupid. Try not to give them room for suspicion, like that couple where the woman kept her pregnancy a secret. Had she told her man about the pregnancy early, maybe it would have been different.
Putting myself in the man’s shoes, I would have my own doubts. Why would I get the truth from a third party?
There are a lot of questions a man can pose to himself and he will be forced to look for his own answers, which could end up costing your relationship or marriage. Ladies be open.