Dear Heart to Heart, I have failed to understand what girls really want. Recently my girlfriend revealed to me how she has been cheating on me and when I got mad about it, she suggested that we go separate ways. However, when I agreed to break up with her, she turned tables and instead got upset with me for not making any attempts to win her back or contact her. Help me out!
Gwe ssebo, were you in love with that madam? Oh dear, she tricked you and the trap caught you. I know she never cheated on you, and may be she was just testing to see how much you love her. By the way, for how long have you been together? It seems she suspected something horrible in your relationship. Try to find out why she did it.
Try to engage your friend in a discussion and share your feelings. Talk openly about your decisions with your friend and make an informed choice.
She is guilty that you did not make efforts to save the relationship.
That woman is so disrespectful, she was wrong and is now faulting you. Don’t take her back because she can’t agree she was wrong.
She is not yours now, not until she realises how important you were to her. Move on, she will come back.
Maybe she was just testing your love for her. I am a woman but women have weird ways of testing a man’s love. I highly doubt someone can just gather the guts to confess something like that, unless she became born again.
Just ignore her worries and move on. It is her decision that put her in that positing in the first place.
She is not worth your love and doesn’t care about your feelings. If you forgive her she will take you for granted. Please let her go, you will find someone deserving of you.
Let go of that woman because she doesn’t know what she wants.
That is a plot to make you her slave. By nature no man can take in such character. If she truly did what she did, then she does not deserve you.
Women are like turkeys, where the darkness finds them is where they will sleep, even if it’s in a bush.
She really loves you if she revealed the secret. All she wanted to know was that you can fight for her. Honest relationships are hard to find, but you have a chance of getting yourself one.
Women are pretenders and they don’t know what they want. They are biased and confused. Leave her, I don’t think she is in love with you.
A prudent woman is got only from God. Review how you got her, go before God and repent any shortcuts taken and put God in the lead on any moves the both of you make. Separation and divorce is not of God, it is a demon from hell and it is only God who will rescue you.
Women are a confused lot, you just learn to accept them as they are, don’t try to understand them, after all they barely understand each other and quarrel all the time.
It is very disappointing that she even had the courtesy of telling you straight in your face that she has been cheating on you. Anyhow, it is time for you to let go and let God take the lead. The notion of people not knowing what they want applies to both men and women, but when it comes to the latter, it goes beyond limits. This is because many have become too materialistic, not driven by love, but desperation for marriage, especially those who have just graduated. Bottom line: Never force someone to make space in their life for you, because if they know your worth, they will surely create one for you. Just let that woman exercise her freedom.
Dear Emery, no girl can tell you that she has been cheating on you apart from when she does not love you or when she is a born again Christian. Most of us do this to test whether our boyfriends really love us. I urge you not to leave her, she was testing you and she got whatever she wanted.
Let her go, and may God prevent you from Aids.
Life is lived forward but understood backwards. She must have realised that you are better than all those guys she was running after. Actually she must be feeling guilty that is why she is using that as a comeback. However, sit down and talk to her.
counsellor’s take : Loyce Lutalo, counsellor Uganda Helpers Association
Dear Anonymous, the girl actually seems committed to the relationship but you, on the other hand, seem relaxed. She might not have cheated on you and could be using this to assess your degree of commitment to the relationship. She seems ready and committed even to the point of marriage. It is not easy for someone to open up, therefore, you should go the extra mile to establish whether she did cheat or not.
You need time together to sit and talk about your relationship and this issue, then your girlfriend might open up and tell you why she actually said she had cheated on you, why she suggested you go separate ways and why she got angry when you just agreed to separate with her.
While dating someone and one realises the other partner seems unserious about the relationship, one can do things to ascertain whether the other person is serious. Therefore, when you sit down with her, ask why she “cheated” on you.
Next week’s problem
Dear Heart to Heart, I have been with my girlfriend for six months. We are both 27 years old and working. Recently, however, I decided to start up a business for her so that she can stop being employed, but she turned down my offer, saying she wanted an introduction first, as well as complete some things at their home. I went on and started the business, but put a boy in charge. Before long, she had also started her business. I got concerned and wondered if she really loved me. Aise me otherwise I am leaving her for others.
SOURCE: Daily Monitor