No, this is not about masturbation. But imagine yourself in an out-of-body experience, looking down at you.
Would you be hopping around on tiptoe, in anticipation for some good lovemaking with that image of you?
If your answer is genuinely yes, as in, you truly like what you see, then good you can move on to other essentials in keeping the spark in your marriage alive. But if you are honest and you too marvel at what could possibly have gone wrong with that picture – especially after allowing yourself to time-travel and remember what you were, not so many years ago – then swing into action and fix it!
It is not about physical changes alone, because yes, as we grow older, a fat roll will appear in places you don’t want it and some skin may prefer to rest on top of other skin folds, but it is more about how you take care of yourself in relation to all those changes.
I was coming to office a few days ago when I saw a madam going to the shops. She must have been in her late 30s or early 40s. Her breasts under the cotton T-shirt were swinging braless close to her navel, not to mention the many stains on the T-shirt from her respectable office as a possible housewife.
Her hair was unkempt and she didn’t look like she had visited the bathroom yet. At 9am. That is when the thought occurred to me: “Would she be turned on by that picture of her, if she put herself in her husband’s shoes?”
The other day I heard a radio presenter appealing to wives to take better care of themselves, cheekily lamenting about the nasty odours that can accost a sexually-interested spouse’s nostrils, effectively turning off any knobs. When they say marriage is hard work, they are not just cleverly stringing words together it really is a lot of work.
Unlike your courtship days, when you had time to prepare a proper getup that would knock your sweetheart’s socks off and keep him or her dreaming about just you until you next met, in marriage this becomes a daily task: keeping your spouse interested.
There is no bachelor’ssingleton’s pad to retreat to, where you can walk around naked until midday without a shower, or where you can jump into bed without brushing your teeth at night and noisily indulge your flatulence as it arises. In fact, where couples allow such familiarity to creep into their marriages, you will also hear the resultant lamentations of being taken for granted, being treated like a sibling as opposed to a lover or even infidelity.
Like a computer, you don’t really go anywhere until your maker writes you off, but you keep upgrading software to stay relevant to the office!
Don’t be the computer that insists on keeping the inoperable Windows XP when everyone else has rolled on to Windows 8, and still be bitter that no one in that office ever puts a flash disk in your USB ports. Stay in step keep in sync with what is sexy to your spouse, regardless the many anniversaries.
Gentlemen, you can turn your one-pack potbelly into the closest thing you can get to a six-pack, by working out more. You can be disciplined with your drinking habits. You can be a more responsible husband and father. You can be more loving and romantic.
Otherwise, look down at yourself from that imagined out-of-body vantage point and honestly say, if you were in your wife’s shoes, would you wait up for you and place fresh sheets on the bed, and colourful beads on your waist, and warm water with a soft cleaning cloth, all in anticipation for some loving action?
Or would you too feign deep sleep, hoping there are no suggestive touches from the unclean, disrespectful body on the other side of the bed? Hmm…
Source : The Observer