Love came knocking and I ran

We men have never found this whole thing of falling in love easy. There are, however, a few among us to whom things come naturally, the ones who seamlessly waltz into the world of feelings and thundering hearts. But, for the majority, it is quite an aenture an experience best avoided for its ability to turn entire worlds upside down. No, it doesn’t get better with age.

You can imagine my utter surprise and shock when I realised that this little girl, so harmless looking, seemingly no different from her predecessors, would threaten my way of life. I don’t fall in love, that is the girl’s part to play she falls in love, I stay open to new prospects. But, not this time round. Before I was even sure she had noticed me, I was rapidly losing interest in everything else female.
It did not take long for my horizon to narrow down to one line of sight, my thoughts to align themselves in a single file towards this girl, and my entire existence to shrivel to looking for ways to make her happy. And not the other way round. My cockiness ran out on me suddenly, I was extremely disinclined to show this girl that other side of me. I wanted her to see the best of me, something I honestly believed I had outgrown.

The previously uncontrollable urge to discuss her with my friends slipped out on me unawares. See, what usually happens is that when I meet a girl, the first thing I do is call my friends, and tell them about her, and then, we start the countdown. But this time, I only told two friends, the serious ones, those in steady relationships. That scared me endlessly on reflection that I might be headed for a steady relationship. When the boys got to know, they thought I was just being fishy. But honestly, I did not know what to do with the girl.

I had no game plan. Not a nice feeling, believe me, for someone who likes to be in control. And, to say all this happened before the girl even gave me any indication that there was any hope for me. Then, as if caught in an unbreakable fall into the abyss, I was projecting long term plans, a bewildering experience for someone who usually counted their time in weeks, once in a while months, when it came to girls. But what really had me worried was when I started wondering what kind of girl she was.

This seems normal, I guess, but not for me. I never get that curious, because most times I don’t intend to stay that long. While other girls ask the damning question, “what is the plan for us?”, this girl made me arrive at this same venue all by myself a mini-miracle, just that I did not give her the pleasure of knowing that. The more I thought about her, the more I liked her, and the more I did, the more scared I became.

If she could do this, without doing anything at all, what would happen to me if she actually focused on bending me to her will? I took the coward’s way out left, and hid. I never found out how it would have ended. I have a girlfriend, a really possessive one, and the thought of being foolishly swept away by another was a bad idea.

SOURCE: Daily Monitor

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