Jessica and I broke up yesterday. Jessica is that girlfriend of mine or should I say former girlfriend, I warned about fighting in public. The one that got beat up at the beach because she picked up a fight with three girls and their male friends. The one who last week resumed watching ‘Corazon Valiente’ on Telemundo after her new found crash suffered from a freak heart attack. That Jessica.
The break up was what she termed ‘silly really.’ But long overdue on my side. She enjoys cuddling. She says she feels happier and healthier when we hold each other in bed.
Citing google, she said something about studies showing that couples which regularly cuddle and snuggle in bed are most likely in healthier relationships.
“See,” she showed me something she had ‘googled up’, “About 94 per cent of couples who spent the night in contact with one another were happy with their relationship, compared to just 68 per cent of those that didn’t touch.”
I told her I do not care. And that I cannot be holding her all night as she sleeps.
Because I hate cuddling. I hate it even more when she has to abandon what is supposed to be her side of the bed for mine.
Damn, I so loathe the whole idea of turning my ribs into her pillow when I can barely breathe because her hair is in my face.
So I told her, that I have had to stand by her as she sometimes makes a fool of herself when drunk but that I will not wrap my arms around her and pull her close so that, in her words she can feel safe, protected and wanted.
I too want my sleep and will dump her faster a scared rabbit can run.
She went silent for what seemed like a century I almost freaked out.
“So what is wrong with cuddling?” she asked.
“Everything,” I responded. “For starters I can barely breathe with you crashing my ribs and I am always in this uncomfortable still-like position all night long. I need to be able to move and I cannot do that with your legs thrown over my head.”
“So why have you been doing it for the past three or so years,” she shot back.
“Because, I was only doing it out of requirement. I lie awake every night thinking everything wrong about this relationship is happening at that particular time when one your elbows suddenly connects with my neck as you turn in your sleep but still want to be held. I also wanted to be kind and it was kind of cool in the beginning especially after we had made out,” I offered.
Before she could say anything else, I told her that there are no men who love to snuggle because they are sissies and that if she ever knows one then maybe she can go to him.
“Otherwise, I love to breath my own air and not that contaminated by hair oil and bath shampoo scents.
A single tear rolled down her face but I was not about to succumb and give up my right to freedom as I sleep.
So she gave me an ultimatum. It was either her or my bed. I laughed and chose to peacefully sleep alone.
SOURCE: DAILY MONITOR