He caught me flirting and wants out

The problem

Dear heart to heart,

I have been in a relationship with this man and we have a two year-old baby girl. Eversince I conceived our daughterr, we have had a series of issues. We talked about some but others have kept us apart. The current issue we are battling with started in June 2014 when we had a misunderstanding over him cheating on me and he told me to leave his house. At first, I had refused to leave but later went to my parents’ home. The next morning he came to my parents, we talked about the issue but I still hurt. I refused to go with him and stayed with my parents. He went on womanising but I kept hoping he would change. In May this year, we reconciled and we agreed to have an introduction in December this year. Two months later. While conversing, he suddenly grabbed my phone and read my messages where I was flirting with some men. He got angry and beat me up. He then made phone calls to people and cancelled the introduction plans. I need him to believe me that I was only flirting and get back to me. Please aise me.

- Mary

Your solutions

Mara Jimmy Wester: Dear Mary, I would like to apologise on his behalf for mistreating you in such a manner. From your narration, I can tell that you indeed have gone through a lot. I also can tell that you love (d) him so much but that’s not what you gotget in return. You thought having his baby would make him man enough but it’s the direct opposite.

You see Mary, sometimes when walking away from a relationship isn’t their choice. Circumstances make them do so. Ma’am, I aise you not to continue with that relationship because that man wants to enslave you. He wants you to do things his way with an unquestionable obedience. That’s not the right way to do things especially when you have children. That in-fighting between you might extend to the innocent child which might affect her in the near future. If you can’t do it to yourself, at least do it for the sake of the innocent child.

Phoebe Turigye: Having a child together cannot be grounds for marriage. If a man does not love you even if you get married to him he will cheat on you and mistreat you even when you have his children. Look, his heart is not with you.Take it as your greatest mistake and allow yourself to move on. Don’t condemn yourself to a lifetime in hell! There is life outside ‘marriage.’

Judith Atusasire: My dear, there are some problems we get and the experience teaches us a lot of things but in all kinds of sufferings and tears God never leaves us. Ask the Lord and he will answer your prayers soon. You will be happy again, pray for your baby’s health and yourself. Take it easy, God is a good husband for you.

Emma Eka: The guy is beating you before you go to his home. What will happen when he marries you? Think about.

Rhahim Rahman Isma: How can you aice someone to let go of something he or she loves? We have to admit the imperfections and move on...no man is an island we are all the same ...talk to him.

Ponciano Tumusiime: “I need him to believe me that I was only flirting and get back to me.” lf he is hell why do you want to go back. Continue flirting with other men and you will get an Angel from them.

Iryn Alumo: Everything happens for a reason he’s not meant to be yours that’s why God allowed that to happen so that the marriage does not happen by him finding those messages. Leave him and relax.

Kennedy Arinaitwe: “Love stinks’’ because people have got selective memories. #Mary should sit down alone and weigh his intentions properly. After that you are free to decide. People are broken hearted, cheats, young and silly, some don’t even know love and you hope that they will help you run your marriage, career? Sit down and work it out without any element of selectivism.

Joseph Barasa: Sometimes it’s very hard to forgive or let go. But from the story, this guy doesn’t love you as he pretends. Had he truly loved you, he wouldn’t cheat on you several times. Not only that, he went ahead and beat you because of a message.

True men respect women and do not humiliate them. Calm down, and then make a choice either to leave him or give him more chances for him to change.

Daniel Opesen: Just give up with that man before it is too late because you may regret and he doesn’t love you at all, God has a good plan for your future.

Klean Counts: Go to Olara Otunu forget that one because he already saw what was in your phone.

Ejustine Vuni: Both of you are flirting meaning you are a young but you need to grow in mind for the future.

Nexus Joshua Tugume: In this world flirting with an opposite sex is not a good idea! You will need a lot of time and get a lot hardships to make him believe in your point! So relax and talk to him.

Francis Okello: One who laughs last laughs best and it has cost you. Anyway try so much to talk to him through his friends and yours too.

Shamirah Kabogoza: Let that man go. We are fed up of ill-mannered men.

Gloria Reyxana : Do to others what you want them to do to you. That guy used to cheat, I guess he still does. Shaaa ! how cud he beat you up banange this is a dot com world and beating ladies no longer exists. I only aise you to let him go because even if he marries you, things will not go well for you.

Chrispas Nck Nakunda : I am sorry to ask you but where do you meet such kinds of uncaring men? The problem is that you never liked to be in courtship, now after that womanising you still want to go to him and contract HIVAIDS. Let that man alone and I think you don’t love your life. Now what is special with just an introduction ceremony?

Gilbert Otto: Honey, move on with your life. He does not deserve you. There are many successful single parents. I believe there is a good man waiting for you so stop flirting. Go out and find your man.

Cisse James Jawotho : First get to know the reason why he is cheating. Then get back to us for aice, other you may be in wrong or misaised.

Wilson Ssembajwe: Just leave him my dear was not meant to be yours. But if you were meant to be, you will eventually be.

Aisha Lichie: How can a guy who hjas been cheating on you dump you for flirting? Get over it, move on and get yourself a real man or wait to catch AIDS.

Daniel Opesen: Just give up on that man before it is too late. Also, he doesn’t love u at all, God has a good plan for you and your future.

Counsellor says

Dear Mary, the situation you are in is complex. The fact is that one is free to make a choice though never determine consequences that come with it. It is true that you still love this man but it would have no sense sticking to a torturous man. You are both adults who should sit down and solve issues, you are not his child remember. This kind of communicates trouble even after the introduction you are yearning for.

However, my aice would be to give this man time. Try and cut off all communications, stay away from him for at least three months. This period of silence should be accompanied with prayer. It is a strongest weapon one can ever use to win all battles in life. And it is only the Holy Spirit that can help you make an informed decision. Do not rush because true man comes from God.

So it is after this period that you will find out if the two of you are meant to be together.

Compiled by Christine Katende



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