Your story: I never really wanted divorce

I am writing to you in order to make someone understand that it is good to appreciate our partners despite their flaws.
I am 32 years old. My ex-husband and I dated for six years. I started dating him whilst I was 19 years old. We were best of friends. I waited for him to first complete school, get a job and then introduced him and got married and had a son.

My husband was short tempered at times, but our problems started when I wanted to make him feel he can’t control me.

Every time we argued, I would pack my bags, go to my family and explain. My sisters would phone my husband and shout at him. If he was controlling me, I dared him to divorce me, I never wanted a divorce, I just had pride and I never wanted to look like a loser.

One day I pushed him so hard that for the first time he beat me and locked me outside the house. I went to my family and reported him to police. He was arrested and detained. I was asked by his family to withdraw the case but I ignored. I always looked abused but to be honest, I used to abuse my husband emotionally.

He was never a violent man he did what he did because I pushed him to the wall. Of which he openly knelt down and apologised. I withdrew the charges, and we reconciled. After three months, I packed my bags after a small issue, and he remained alone.

After two days I received a call that he was in hospital, my family told me that I shouldn’t go there because it would look like I was begging him. My sisters believed he was faking the illness. All this time, people thought I was the one being abused.

He spent a week in hospital. When he was discharged, I received a divorce summon. I wanted to say no to divorce, but because I felt this pride, I wanted him to change his mind and beg me I called him and said he would get the divorce because I live like I was in hell.

When we went to court, I wanted to make him pay, so I told the court that I needed his properties to be shared. To my surprise, he openly told the court that whatever he and me acquired together should be given to me. All he wanted was a divorce.

We were divorced in July 2009.
Today, my husband is marrying, while I am here wasted! My family are gossiping about me, I depend on what my ex gives to my son for survival. I know I wasted my marriage. I am here telling all wives that be careful how you get aice. Those who encouraged me to divorce are always bad mouthing me.