If you’ve ever thought about how you’ll be remembered, you might find some inspiration from the self-penned obituary of Emily Debrayda Phillips.
The 69-year-old’s last words have gone viral online thanks to the smart and sassy life essay which she wrote before she passed away from pancreatic cancer last week.
The mum-of-two starts out with a laugh, and weaves in feelings and experiences which shaped her life, in the eulogy which appeared in the Florida Times-Union newspaper.
Emily died on March 25, just 29 days after her cancer diagnosis, and leaves behind ‘the man of my dreams’ Charlie Phillips and son and daughter Bonnie and Scott.
But in her obituary, which starts out explaining her roots as the ‘daughter of Clyde and Mary Fisher from Hazelwood’, she goes on to praise those who she loved and talk about the memories which stayed with her through her life, calling them more valuable than “all the gold and silver in my jewellery box”.
From listing memories of her parents to reciting the traits she most loves in her ‘grand-angels’, she reveals the life of a contented, interesting and thoughtful woman.
Full Obituary below:
It pains me to admit it, but apparently, I have passed away. Everyone told me it would happen one day but that’s simply not something I wanted to hear, much less experience. Once again I didn’t get things my way! That’s been the story of my life all my life.
And while on that subject (the story of my life)on February 9, 1946 my parents and older sister celebrated my birth and I was introduced to all as Emily DeBrayda Fisher, the daughter of Clyde and Mary Fisher from Hazelwood. I can’t believe that happened in the first half of the last century but there are records on file in the Court House which can corroborate this claim. Just two years later when another baby girl was born, I became known as the middle sister of the infamous three Fisher Girls, and the world was changed forever.
As a child I walked to the old Hazelwood Elementary School where teachers like Mrs. McCracken, Mrs. Davis and Mrs. Moody planted the seed that eventually led me to becoming a teacher. I proudly started my teaching career at that same elementary school in January 1968, and from there I went on to teach young children in the neighboring states of Virginia, Georgia, as well as Florida where I retired after 25 years.
So many things in my life seemed of little significance at the time they happened but then took on a greater importance as I got older. The memories I’m taking with me now are so precious and have more value than all the gold and silver in my jewelry box.
Memorieswhere do I begin? Well, I remember Mother wearing an apron I remember Daddy calling Square Dances I remember my older sister pushing me off my tricycle (on the cinder driveway) I remember my younger sister sleep walking out of the house I remember grandmother Nonnie who sewed exquisite dresses for me when I was little I remember grandmother Mamateate wringing a chicken’s neck so we could have Sunday dinner. I remember being the bride in our Tom Thumb Wedding in first grade and performing skits for the 4-H Club later in grade five. I remember cutting small rosebuds still wet with dew to wear to school on spring mornings, and I remember the smell of newly mowed grass. I remember the thrill of leading our high school band down King Street in New Orleans for Mardi Gras (I was head majorette). I remember representing Waynesville in the Miss North Carolina Pageant, and yes, I twirled my baton to the tune of “”Dixie””. It could have been no other way.
I married the man of my dreams (tall, dark, and handsome) on December 16, 1967 and from that day on I was proud to be Mrs. Charlie Phillips, Grand Diva Of All Things Domestic. Our plan was to have two children, a girl and a boy. Inexplicably we were successful in doing exactly that when we were blessed with our daughter Bonnie and then later our son Scott. Seeing these two grow into who they were supposed to be brought a wonderful sense of meaning to our lives.
This might be a good time to mend fences.
I apologize for making sweet Bonnie wear No Frills jeans when she was little and for “”red-shirting”” Scott in kindergarten. Apparently each of these things was humiliating to them but both were able to rise above their shame and become very successful adults. I’d also like to apologize to Mary Ann for tearing up her paper dolls and to Betsy for dating a guy she had a crush on.
Just when I thought I was too old to fall in love again, I became a grandmother, and my five grand-angels stole not only my heart, but also spent most of my money.
Sydney Elizabeth, Jacob McKay, and Emma Grace (all Uprights) have enriched my life more than words can say. Sydney’s “”one more, no more”” when she asked for a cookie Jake saying he was “”sick as a cat”” when I’d said that someone else was sick as a dog and Emma cutting her beautiful long hair and then proceeding to shave off one of her eyebrowsYes, these are a few of my favorite things. They’re treasures that are irreplaceable and will go with me wherever my journey takes me.
I’ve always maintained that my greatest treasures call me Nana. That’s not exactly true. You see, the youngest of my grand-angels, William Fisher Phillips and Charlie Jackson Phillips call me “”Nana Banana””. (Thank you Chris and Scott for having such spunky children.) These two are also apt to insist that I “”get their hiney”” whenever I visit, and since I’m quite skilled in that area , I’ve always been able to oblige. (I actually hold the World’s Record for “”Hiney Getting,”” a title that I wear with pride.)
Speaking of titlesI’ve held a few in my day. I’ve been a devoted daughter, an energetic teenager, a WCU graduate (summa cum laude), a loving wife, a comforting mother, a dedicated teacher, a true and loyal friend, and a spoiling grandmother. And if you don’t believe it, just ask me. Oh wait, I’m afraid it’s too late for questions. Sorry.
SoI was born I blinked and it was over. No buildings named after me no monuments erected in my honor.
But I DID have the chance to know and love each and every friend as well as all my family members. How much more blessed can a person be?
So in the end, rememberdo your best, follow your arrow, and make something amazing out of your life. Oh, and never stop smiling.
If you want to, you can look for me in the evening sunset or with the earliest spring daffodils or amongst the flitting and fluttering butterflies. You know I’ll be there in one form or another. Of course that will probably comfort some while antagonizing others, but you know meit’s what I do.
I’ll leave you with thisplease don’t cry because I’m gone instead be happy that I was here. (Or maybe you can cry a little bit. After all, I have passed away).
Today I am happy and I am dancing. Probably naked.
Love you forever.
SOURCE: Daily Monitor