Why Go Into the Other Woman’s Arms? [opinion]

The question of men practising polygamous relationships has been extensively discussed in diverse fora. Many have concluded that it is probably the craving for beautiful women that drives men down that road.

However with scandals such as Eric Benet cheating on his then actress wife, Halle Berry, ranked as one of the most beautiful women at the time, it becomes clear that it is more than beauty that drives men into other women’s arms. We have seen other infidelity scandals with celebrities like Tiger Woods, John Terry, John Edwards, Bebe Cool and Mathias Mpuuga, and so many others.

Nevertheless, unlike Woods and Terry, Uganda’s Bebe and Mpuuga didn’t receive the same kind of backlash in the country. Bebe may have lost his wife Zuena for a number of months but his image was never damaged and she eventually came back to him. Mpuuga on the other hand, went on a rollercoaster ride.

He may have been shot at in what was highly believed to be a crime of passion, but he still went on to win the next elections to Parliament. In Uganda, or Africa generally, having more than one partner is appreciated and loathed in equal measure.

You will, for example, hardly ever find a politician apologising to the electorate and his family for fathering a child outside wedlock. But neither will you see a man come out publicly to declare his infidelity. It is looked upon as shameful by most, though they never stop doing it.

Samuel Oketcho believes that as a man, it is almost a birthright to want to taste as many fruits in the garden as possible. In fact, he claims that a man who declares he has never harboured thoughts of cheating on his wife is simply a liar.

“All men are possible cheats. The difference is that some never get suspected or caught,” he notes.

Oketcho, whose real names are concealed in order to protect his current relationship, believes the main reason behind men’s cheating, especially in Africa, stems from the cultural design whereby having lots of women was seen as prestigious.

“Some people still look at women as a form of conquest. It is the reason they will always exaggerate their sexual exploits,” he says.

However, much as he admits it is normal for a man to cheat, he also says it would be stupid to tell a woman you were having an affair with someone else.

“I can’t tell the girl I love that there is someone else, though for the others I probably would after sleeping with them,” he says.

He notes that men cheat because they can get away with it, thus there is no sense in cheating and telling.

Source : The Observer

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