When he is the good hubby, but boring man…

Why does life most of the time look greener on the other side of the fence? The clothes on display in a window shop look nicer than they do when you have bought and had them in your closet for some time and not necessarily because they are worn out.

There is always that 2015 Hyundai Tucson on the road that you wish was yours and when you finally get it (after robbing a bank), you cannot remember why you wanted it and that it is not as manageable as your old 2001 Toyota Corolla.

And so it is with the people we love. Unless you are a dead saint, you have probably once in a while looked at a man and wished your partner’s abs were as tight, or his jokes as interesting as this stranger’s or wished your wife could be as sophisticated as your female boss.

My friend Lynette was kind enough to let me write about an episode from the past where she was caught coveting what was not hers.

Lynette had been married for seven years to a man she only dated for six months. Despite the short courtship, he turned out to be a good husband. Their love bore them two boys, who for some reason think I am a human ragdoll to be pulled and tagged. They once pulled off my wig.
When it got off, they were so terrified, they cried all day, insisting I was an alien. Because why else did I have two sets of hairskin?
Anyway, Lynette got cosy with an old friend of mine. It did not help that he is a lead vocalist in one of the most amazing bands in town. When he sings, the world stops. He is known among his fans as Mr Serenade.

After one of his performances, I walked up to him to say hello and introduced him to Lynette. Being the musical soul that she is, they connected immediately. She liked the way he covered Luther Vandross and the way he did Barry White’s bass-baritone voice songs in alto and how he did not pretend to have a Mariah Carey scream… on and on they went.

Little did I know this conversation would grow into numerous late night WhatsApp chats and dates. I do not know why, but after four months, she came clean. She admitted that she liked Mr Serenade.

I saw the content of their chats and indeed they had been doing more than just flirting. She said it was wrong, but that it felt so right. He always said the right things, was sensitive to her and always answered her messages and calls.

Her husband, on the other hand, was so boring. He never called her by any pet name but ‘mummy’, never listened to her woes or sang her songs or took her to nice dinners. He was a good husband but a boring one.

Anyway, after six more months of this foolishness, she was busted by her husband, who somehow got to read her extramarital chats.
Courtesy of a nasty confrontation, she sobered up put her act together and pledged allegiance to her boring husband. Even when the band sang Joe Thomas’ 1997 hit, The things your man won’t do, she paid it no attention.

The song on replay in her car from then on was Luther Vandross’ Love the one you’re with and her WhatsApp status reads: “You may think the grass is greener on the other side, but if you take the time to water your own grass, it would be just as green”.

jnapio@ug.nationmedia.com

SOURCE: Daily Monitor

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