November is finally here, which means that December is three minutes away! These are the wedding months. For those who have made a vow that next New Year’s won’t find them single again, it’s now or never, do or die.
As we prepare to attend the many weddings coming our way, there are some wedding habits which I have carefully noted and blacklisted, to ensure that they will never rear their ugly heads on my big day. (Don’t worry, there is still hope that the blessed event will occur !)
Firstly, the veil – now why wear a piece of material that sits in front of the face for no good reason? Unless it is an arranged marriage, bride and groom have been seeing each other for so many months or years. There is nothing new there. That moment when the pastorresiding minister asks the groom to unveil his bride- (mind you the veil is transparent so you can definitely see who’s hiding behind it)- I wonder who or what he expects to find there, a changeling perhaps, or a mermaid?
Secondly, the entry procession. These days we have the entire wedding party dancing into the church for almost 20 minutes to the latest song of the day, Jamaican riddim, if you are extremely unlucky. Paka chini times five (depending on the size of the wedding party). One would be forgiven for thinking it was a club dance-off. What is all this? If you are entering, enter! Clear and simple! Otherwise just stay outside with your itchy dancing feet and let people get married in peace!
Lastly, this madness of kissing the bride. I most definitely do not want to passionately kiss my husband in front of everyone I know! These are strictly bedroom affairs! If you cannot undress each other in public with everyone cheering and clapping you on then neither should you perform lip-to-lip resuscitation in the same public. Nedda sebbo. I will kiss you at home, just put those hungry lips away and be patient! The rest can be done behind closed doors.
Congratulations to all the November and December brides!
SOURCE: Daily Monitor