We Need to Unlearn Our Little Failings

We all enjoy a good scratch of itchy bits, picking our noses, digging around with our fingers for morsels of food the tongue just won’t get to, letting rip a burning fart… you get the idea.

Some of us indulge in these failings away from prying eyes some of us don’t even appreciate that these are failings. Blame it on bad upbringing or plain and simple uncouthness, the problem remains the same: your little failings are failing you (forgive the pun).

You might still be jobless because you had your finger up your nose throughout the interview. For the same reason, you do not have a girlfriend because on that first date when you did remove the finger from your nose, you reached for a piece of pork from her plate. Total deal-breaker.

Restrain yourself!

Are you the type that is ‘into his food’? You probably know that most women are delighted by a man who loves his food, especially if she has cooked it. However, in your enjoyment of the meal, you cannot moan and groan and grunt and chomp and drool and have bits flying out! I once heard a man chewing from three tables away.

I could tell when he was pausing to drink with his mouth still full (there was a breathlessness to the gulp) and when he actually swallowed before drinking (you heard him sucking that liquid in)!

I remember my friend and I both turning (movie slow motion style) and just staring. We both had the same thought… ‘poor woman.’ She sat there daintily picking at her food, glancing about the cafeacute. Maybe we imagined it, but she looked about ready to die.

Then there was this guy whom I think I might have liked for more than friendship if he didn’t chew on his fingernails. His fingers always flew to his mouth even in mid speech. Then I would be too distracted to hear what he was trying to say and… if he ever hit on me, I never got to find out. All I remember is a man-child without fingernails. Colourless nail polish, pepper or even therapy could have saved him from a lifetime of teasing and failed dates.

Now for the guys who enjoy their cigarettes and are dating non-smokers you may be considerate enough not to smoke in her presence but every so often, you lean in for a romantic whisper, maybe even a kiss.

You know that reaction you have when you encounter someone who had Indian cuisine? Not nice. I have never had the misfortune of kissing a smoker but this one girl said she imagined it is what it would feel like if she ever chewed stale tobacco. Mouthwash, chewing gum, mouth freshener, mint… anything. Please!

I appreciate that it is hard to teach an old dog new tricks but what counts is that many of these vices can be unlearned. Hopefully, you have just one or two vices to deal with but regardless, do an honest scrutiny of thy self, pick one that bothers you the most and start unlearning.

Source : The Observer

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