Tissa’s World – a Relationship Is Hard Work but Long-Distance Love Is a Lot Harder

Or met someone from another country and fallen in love straight away – only to realise that at some point, they will return to whichever part of the world they reside?

Perhaps you have been in a relationship and your partner has the opportunity to go overseas, meaning you have to make a decision on whether to end things or continue on.

Long-distance relationships always get a mixed response. Some people believe that such arrangements are a testament of love between couples while others think they are doomed.

Edward got a job in London and left his girlfriend Gladys behind in Kampala. Initially, they would talk, skype, message and email each other all-day.

However, life began to take over he got distracted with his new life and she got increasingly frustrated with having to be without him. Unfortunately, he ended up meeting someone else in London, meaning their relationship ended.

My friend Solomon’s girlfriend Sheba went to study in Nairobi. The distance between Kenya and Uganda is so little, they thought. Plans were made to fly over frequently and see each other, but within weeks, they found themselves fighting all the time.

“The stress is not worth it. I kept wondering if she is cheating on me, is she going to have fun with all her new friends and forget me. My insecurities began to show and I would take my bad mood out on her. It totally ruins the relationship and of course she did get fed up of me,” Solomon says.

My cousin Katie, on the other hand, has been in a long-distance relationship for five years.

“If you can sustain long distance, then your love is real. It is the ultimate test. With the internet and Skype and Facebook and all these things today, it is so much easier to make it work. Long distance has a bad reputation but it can work and the excitement over seeing your other half after a gap is magical,” she says.

As my girlfriends and I discussed this topic, one argued that long distance is not real. It becomes a cyber relationship where a lot of the ugly sides of people are blocked out. Laughingly she added: “And you start spending all your time on the computer instead of being with the real people! No way not worth it.”

Another friend agreed and then said she could not do it because of the sexual element of it. Her point being that both men and women have needs, which cannot be fulfilled over a computer screen. That she would miss sex too much and thinks the lack of it would lead both her and her boyfriend to cheat.

My friend Rachel then interrupted her, saying technology could cater for the long-distance sexual experience and claimed that it makes sex more exciting when you finally meet each other. As our debate got heated, we found we could not agree.

What those friends on the table who had done long distance did say is it can only work if both partners prioritize each other, stay committed, keep honest and stick to plans regarding what time they will speak and when.

While they preached this, some of the other girls rolled their eyes. What is my opinion on it for you, reader? Relationships are a lot of hard work and long- distance relationships are a lot harder. There are no rights or wrongs, but if you choose to pursue one, make sure they are worth it.

Source : The Observer

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