The vicious cycle of love and despair

At some point in time, there was nothing you wanted more than that girl. You were certain that if you got her, you would be the happiest man on earth. And you are so unhappy because you didn’t have her. You prayed about it even.

Hold this thought. There are things we start taking for granted after a while, like a girl getting her phone, and her airtime and calling you not because she wants something from you but because she wants to call you.

Now, take a step back and compare this situation with that time when you would have given your left arm for that phone to ring, and its her calling. Okay, maybe you have never gone through this situation like the rest of us ordinary mortal humans, but believe me, that stage exists. The stage when she calls the shots and you are reduced to nothing more than a begger.

I had a moment of clarity the other day. My phone rang and it was her calling. I answered, and she really had nothing to tell me or ask me she just wanted to talk to me, the silly nothings of love. Well, I obliged her, we talked about nothing in particular for about 10 minutes then she hang up.

This wasn’t the first time she had done that, and I too have done it a number of times. But that day, I was very logical in thinking, and it got me wondering when I started taking ‘ordinary’ phone calls from Elle.

Even getting irritated sometimes when she called me me ‘too often’. Fine, maybe thats how relationships go boy chases after girl, and is willing to do anything, ANYTHING for her. Girl is special, she is THE ONE, he is certain. Boy gets girl. Boy dates girl for a while.

Boy gets used to having girl around. Girl becomes ‘ordinary’, not so special. She is just human. Girl becomes ‘too needy’. Boy starts pulling away from girl. It’s the beginning of the end. Maybe the girl too has realised that the end is neigh, and she has started pulling away, before you even realise that she is nolonger your special one.

And of all things I have learnt about women, the only sure way to lose her is to be indifferent to her. Hate her or love her, but don’t treat her as is she is transparent and she doesn’t exist for you. Women need passion, one way or another. She starts to wonder what happened to the great love that you talked of, and made her believe. And she will try to save the relationship, but at this point, you are past caring.

You think she is a stumbling block to your freedom and happiness. You want her to leave you alone, you start avoiding her. She makes you miserable. You are unhappy because you have her. You cheat on her, but you don’t even realise that you are wronging her. Because she is not the one for you. The extreme opposite of where this all started.

No, men are not hypocrites, or liars. When we say the things we say, we mean them. And later, when we start taking you for granted, its simply human nature. You ought to understand this, you gave birth to us and raised us.

SOURCE: Daily Monitor

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