A woman can ‘address’ these character flaws by being subtle. She can once in a while make a show of picking up the offending sock left forlornly on the living room carpet or make a big show of taking out the garbage she finds in the kitchen.
What she shouldn’t do however is become a banshee. If she harangues her man constantly about his hygiene, she is going to push him into reconsidering his decision to be with her.
Yet some of these negatives are just character flaws that cannot be wished away. By being subtle, a man will work on his problems without feeling like he is being henpecked.
First thing is to be understanding. That means tolerance it means managing the temptation to be a perfectionist and expecting the man to be as neat as thee. Somehow men ain’t wired to be as immaculate as the ladies.
So once that’s achieved, man and woman should look at addressing the problem (it’s a problem) together. The woman should be as open as possible, be clear on how she wants order in the house. Be frank and bold enough to lay ground rules on how things are meant to be done. Being too soft doesn’t help, I could take you for granted so lady should be assertive. House order is her territory so she should assert authority.
Talk about it. Don’t shout or grumble or even keep quiet and ‘die’ silently, hoping he will magically realise and change.
Tell him, politely, that it is bad for him to randomly drop things all over the place and perhaps even get him a designated place to drop them.
I think there are a lot of ways to deal with this. Make wagers, have some form of retribution and even refuse to get intimate if he’s a serial offender. I think people can change, depending on how you go about it. A short fuse will not help. He will just coil and find space to be free…and it won’t be in your house.
Benjamin, spot on! It’s not enough to gossip about him with pals and be gloomy, assuming he will change.
I think by that time, it might be a little too late. Your only hope lies with making your son a better man for whichever girl ends up with him.
Seriously, how do you expect to teach a grown man that ‘dirty’ is bad if his mama didn’t? For damage control, you could try conditioning him by repetitively and patiently reminding him that dirty stockings belong in the laundry basket. Then he might do it out of habit. Good luck on this lost cause.
Jamie, the realist: 36. Married, father of two.
Benjie: 27, single
Ivan Okuda: 21, at University.
Eugene Mugisha: 29, the dating guru.
SOURCE: Daily Monitor