I looked down at the envelope in my hands in confusion who could be writing to me?
This was, after all, the era of mobile phones, emails, and inbox messages so, why didn’t whoever it was simply use one of these more conventional methods, instead of the old-fashioned letter?
Shrugging, I opened it, and quickly scanned through both sides of the single sheet of paper it contained, looking for the sender’s name, and felt my chest flutter painfully when I did – Greg. Abandoning my laundry basket, I slowly walked back into the house, slumped onto the nearest chair, and slowly read the letter
This letter has probably come as a complete shock to you, and for that I apologise. In my defence, I debated with myself long and hard before writing it, and even longer before actually sending it, as I remember our promise not to contact each other. That’s a promise I have struggled to keep, and one I have not broken easily.
Although I don’t talk to or see you, I still think about you constantly, and look out for you whenever I’m somewhere I think you might be. Needless to say, I never find you when I do, and I’ve only just figured out why, after reading in the papers that you have withdrawn from the world since the Miss Uganda article ran.
I almost called you when I read the story, but I remembered our promise, and didn’t, something that I now regret, especially after finding out what it did to you.
I know how sensitive you are, and how much that stupid article must have hurt, which is why I wanted to call to tell you how sorry I was, and that you should treat it with the scorn it deserves. But in the end, because of my vow, I didn’t, instead convincing myself that you would get over it, and be okay. Quite clearly I was wrong, and so the purpose of this letter is to try to correct that mistake.
Stephanie, you are an amazing young lady, and an incredible mother, and anyone who says anything different, doesn’t have the faintest clue about who you really are. I do, and I know this with complete certainty. Still, we are all human, and we all make mistakes. Taking C.G. to Miss Uganda was a mistake, but that doesn’t mean you are a bad mother it simply means you make mistakes like anyone else.
Sadly, as public figures, it often feels like we’re not allowed to make mistakes, and that if we do, we certainly shouldn’t make them where anyone else can see them, lest we ruin our image in the eyes of people who probably make the same mistakes as we do, if not far greater ones.
This feeling is as unwarranted as it is unrealistic so, you should not let yourself be held prisoner by it. Your mistake was punished by a nasty article isn’t that punishment enough? Why do you then continue to punish yourself endlessly?
I have seen firsthand how badly you can punish yourself please don’t, not anymore than you already have. It’s not worth it those that have judged you are not worth it.
Live again, laugh again, even err again, for only then are you truly alive, and truly you. I wish I could look you in the eye, and know that you have seen the truth of my words, but I won’t break my promise any further than I already have, because I don’t trust myself around you so, this letter will have to do.
Please don’t let it be in vain.
Lots of love always,
Source : The Observer