Women love to talk, and they crave for every detail. This is why oftentimes in a relationship they are busy asking their men all sorts of questions. What women fail to realise is that men would rather not offer their opinion about all and sundry. It is for this reason that when a woman is too inquisitive, the man feels uncomfortable, especially if the questions thrown his way intend to rattle his privacy and independence. We caught up with some men who shared the kind of questions they would rather their women never posed.
1.Do you love me?
Edward Muwanguzi, a graphics designer, says this is a question most women he has dated have asked, and he never answers because in his view, it defeats all logic. “This question often comes out of the blue, you never see it coming. One minute you are a happy couple, laughing about anything then there it comes.” In Muwanguzi’s view, posing this question to a man you are in a relationship with is a sign of doubt towards the love he has for you. And nobody wants their feelings put in question, especially if they are real.
2.Do you think I’m fat?
From Muwanguzi’s experience, most women who ask this question are usually already insecure about their weight. They often begin this question with a disclaimer that implores the man to be honest with his opinion. “When a woman asks this question, chances are, she is heavy on the weighing scale. Well, no man wants to tell his woman she is overweight because women never take such opinion lightly. When it comes to this question, men will always gloss over it. So what is the point of asking?”
3.How many women have you dated before me?
Felix Tumusiime, an architect, finds this question pointless because, even when a man gets the number of women he has been with, adds 2, subtracts 13, and divides by X, the woman will always hate the final answer he comes up with.
4.Where do you see us in nine years?
Mubiru believes, men do not have nine-year-plans when it comes to relationships. Instead, they prefer to live each day as it comes and see which direction the ship sails. So, asking your boyfriend to dive into the future and see the relationship in nine years is a tough question. “Reminds me of those hard mock examinations in school, especially Kampala-Wakiso Mathematics,” Mubiru jokingly reminisces.
5.What if I cheated on you?
“Slit my wrist, jump to my death off the Nalubaale bridge, or pick up my phone and tell mummy, what answer do you want to hear?” wonders a perturbed Derrick Wandera, a writer. This is a question his girlfriend once asked him, and he wonders how one comes up with such questions sometimes, whose answers are already written on the wall, “Of course I would first pick up the man, sink my knee below his belt, and break his nose! And God help me when I’m done with him you had better be out of my sight as well. That is what happens when a man finds his woman in another man’s arms, so don’t ask. Don’t cheat.”
6.Do you find my best friend beautiful?
Musa Kiberu,29, describes this as tricky and dangerous because the moment you talk of her friend’s beauty in high regard, your opinion will count as unfaithfulness. “I don’t know why they ask questions whose correct answers they frown over. Personally if your friend is on the good side of beauty, I will say so. But I would hate hurting you so do everyone a favour and judge your friend’s beauty on your own.”
When is a woman too inquisitive?
According to Francis Oundo, a counsellor at Family101 Uganda, women are entitled to certain answers from their men, though he also agrees that at some point women go overboard.
“It is ok for a woman to ask questions that are aimed at shaping a better understanding of her man and perhaps the state of the relationship. She may for instance ask about the things he likes, his dislikes as well, and perhaps how much he earns. These are for the better. By the way, wise men would let their women know their salary and even help them plan, women are known to be better at planning.
The problem comes when the questions she asks violate privacy and sometimes independence. For instance why would she ask about every particular details of his past relationships? People usually have big issues talking about past relationships as some of those never ended well. Do not dig up for such. It is not even necessary.”
Oundo also urges women to be cautious of the man’s mood before asking questions. “If somebody is having a bad day, it is not aisable to bombard them with questions, especially ones that are not related to the issues at hand.”
SOURCE: Daily Monitor