Yes, the world is full of unfaithful b*stards and b*tches, but that is no excuse for you to be suspicious of every fly that buzzes a tad too loudly, or clock that ticks boisterously.
Jealousy can kill your sex life faster than anything else. Wives can be the worst culprits when it comes to this-obsessing about your husband and what he could be doing, even when he has given you no reason to doubt him. Many times this arises out of insecurities, thanks to past indiscretions, as well as a low self-esteem.
You will forgive us, gentlemen, but the average woman was told at some point between ‘visiting the bush’ and marriage, that all men cheat it is just a matter of respect. Some put their business in your face, while others are discreet”.
Growing up, I have discovered that the statement is not entirely accurate. Many men cheat, but there is still an admirable small percentage that stay true to their vows. So, unless your husband has given you reason to question his fidelity, allow yourself to enjoy the sex and other things in your marriage.
One couple’s marriage collapsed irreparably because of this.
“In all honesty, my wife was the best woman I had ever been with sexually. She is aenturous, very giving, neat and affectionate,” Aggrey (not real name) said. “But that was until the jealousy drove me out. Now we have different bedrooms because more than the good sex, I want peace.”
Gradually, his wife had become so quarrelsome and overtaken by jealousy that it became impossible to have date nights without her fighting a beautiful waitress she found ‘too attentive’ to her husband.
“A female client who needed help on a Sunday once drove to our home looking for me in the morning. I was woken up by the noise and walked out to find her and the client rolling around the compound in ripped clothes, my wife accusing the client of wanting to steal her husband!”
He lost that client and many more later in similar tantrums at his offices. So, no matter how hot your servings in bed may be madam, if you don’t control the green-eyed monster, you are perfecting your acrobatics for nothing.
Don’t be the wife whose husband cannot talk to anyone else from the opposite sex without triggering your wrath. Don’t be the wife who, because of her jealous fits, cannot throw her head back and enjoy the pink elephants without turning that session into an interrogation about who, what, when, where, which and how.
It becomes tiring and draws attention away from the good things your body was unleashing moments ago. Okay, assuming he gave you reason to doubt, if you agreed to forgive and get back into your marital bed, make the most of it.
When you ask those incessant questions, do you really want to know who is better – you or her? Do you really want to know what your spouse got up to during those unfortunate away matches?
If you have chosen to start with a clean slate, then try to woo your own pink elephants afresh and make them even fancier this time. Every spouse has a right to react angrily and feel justifiably betrayed allow yourself time to get through those motions, but once you choose to hang in there and give the marriage another chance, the only way to move forward is by letting the past go.
God created this thing called marital sex it has the ability to break the gest of marriages if mishandled, but it is also the best soothing balm for wounds you could have inflicted on each other.
So if you choose to forgive – again – allow yourself to benefit from that unique bond allow yourself to heal and to enjoy your marriage once more. Don’t dwell on the other woman’s longer legs or suppler frame and start obsessing about looking like or better than her.
Of course healing and enjoying are impossible if the transgressions are still on-going. Such unions need professional counselling and God to get back to spelling pink elephants, let alone seeing any.
Source : The Observer