Sex Talk – in the Quest of Monogamy

A disturbing phrase was attributed to an artiste in a recent issue of The Observer.

Actress and TV personality Justine Nantume, like many before her, asserted that men were not built for monogamy. The truth is, no one was built for monotony, and if that is what one’s being monogamous entails, then yes, maybe that phrase holds some water.

But for men who know how to keep their marriages fresh and exciting, and wives who know how to keep reinventing themselves even in bed, monogamy suits them just perfectly!

It is the imbedded monotony that most couples allow to seep into their monogamous unions that causes marriages to crumble fast and furiously. If people stopped to consider the real implications of not being monogamous, they would not rush into bringing third and forth parties into their sex lives.

I don’t look at the sex network in terms of STIs alone a sex network drugs in much more filth when it comes to the spiritual. When you sleep with someone, indeed you sleep with everyone that person has ever slept with. HIV and other sexually-transmitted diseases are just the physical aspects of that network.

What should worry you more are the unseen but equally disastrous effects you bring home to your spouse from your exploits.

Sex is such an important, binding covenant, which you cannot keep striking with everyone some brush covenants off as “simple superstition”, but that’s your bad. In fact, it is the reason why a marriage is not a marriage until it is consummated. The real oath is the sex.

One day you will wake up and realise that sex with this particular person actually did mess up your life substantially. If you have been blessed with a good spouse, don’t neglect the sex. It is the main reason why people venture outside the boundaries in search of plan B. When the sex becomes same-old, same-old, monogamy ceases to sound as alluring.


Priscilla (not real name) decided to turn things up a notch when she clocked eight years in her marriage to Tim (not real name).

“Not being a Ugandan yet my husband is, I had heard so much about this labia elongation done especially by the Baganda,” Priscilla shared. “We had talked about it and I knew Tim liked that, but he never pressured me into doing it. As we prepared to renew our vows, I arranged for a two-week break from my home. I used that to find a ssenga who helped me with the elongation, as well as spent extra time doing my Kegel exercises (simple exercises that tighten the pelvic floor muscles, giving the vagina better grip).”

When they next made love the day they renewed their vows, she couldn’t have shouted “happy anniversary!” in a better way…

“That honeymoon seemed even more magical than our first”. Since then, she has learnt to keep changing things in her marital bed, going by those results.

“My husband is also my best friend and we are playful with each other so, things such as role-playing come easy. We save for holidays each year to romantic places even within Uganda, and sometimes small changes to the home deacutecor go a long way in making my honey seem new to me,” Priscilla said.

It is very possible that the shapely, agile person your spouse met a few years ago has since disappeared into lazy folds and rolls pick yourself up and try to get back into shape, instead of joining the chorus of “all men cheat” or “women are all the same”.

You can listen more and talk less you can give more and demand less you can voice more compliments than complaints dress better, communicate better, think outside the box and even compromise a bit. Sexy can be beyond the physical. Keep things hot in your monogamous marriage and it will stay that way.

Of course, not to imply that where a spouse strays even after you have done all of the above you are to blame in some way some people are just… well… weak (horrible, is what I really wanted to say, though).

Source : The Observer

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