Sex Talk – in Defence of Faking It. Ahem!

I was at a wedding recently and someone at my table drew the conversation to one of my recent articles, about how inadequate wives too can be in the sex department, but are quick to heap blame on their husbands.

After a lot of hushed debate, especially about how much women fake orgasms, one wife brought the curtains down with her quipping: “Well, fake it until you believe it!”

The rest of the wedding party must have wondered what we were drinking, going by the raucous laughter that came from the table after that!

But much later at home, I wondered, maybe that wife was right after all. There are times and places, where if all fails, it could help your marriage to “fake it until you believe it”.

Interest

Take interest in sex. Because there is a category of wives who actually confess to hating sex and cannot figure out how to edit the lovemaking out of their blissful equation and retain everything else, maybe it is a good idea to fake it and see what happens! It sure could reduce the negative energy in a union they don’t want to opt out of.

You can fake interest even to yourself, instead of making your husband feel like he is dragging you as a sacrificial lamb to the altar, each time he feels like making love!

I imagine there are few turn-offs as bad as a wife who makes her husband’s need for regular intimacy sound like he has a horrible addiction, as she sulkily stomps off to bed and offers herself in misery, like a slave. Madam, fake the interest – as you keep the communication and learning lines open – and before you know it, the pink, polka-dot elephants will be real and you will no longer need to fake your interest. You will be initiating the action.

Action

Speaking of that, do you really want your wife to lie there like the proverbial log as you huff and puff away and break a sweat? Yes, you can simply up your game and save her the drama by making her genuinely writhe and thrash about involuntarily but, in the meantime, as you style up, she may need to “fake it until she believes it”. For the sake of her marriage.

Because, she figures, sex is just a big component of an even bigger union so, she needs to make it work, for the other pieces of the puzzle she also cares so much about, to keep firmly in place.

So, sir, since you are taking your sweet time improving yourself sexually and physically, you leave your very tolerant, tactful and sensitive wife little choice but to fake some activity as opposed to just lying there minding that her fresh nail polish does not get smudged she can only hope that one day a sex fairy sprinkles gold dust on you and voila, the action is all real!

Sweet Talk

I have seen it at Namboole stadium, or on TV, at Old Trafford. Even as the home team is losing miserably to the visitors, there will be two categories of fans in the stands: the ones that cheer ceaselessly and blow their vuvuzelas, hoping all the morale-boosting works magic on their team that is already two goals down.

The other category just sits there, red-eyed, chin in palm, following the action dejectedly and with no glimmer of hope whatsoever. I absolutely prefer the former. And you?

Because the former is basically faking his enthusiasm even as his heart breaks, hoping that it helps improve the team’s performance, while the latter comes short of throwing insults on to the pitch.

Similarly, madam may choose to answer your quite lacklustre performance with deafening cheers, sweet-nothings and foot-stomping, hoping that this helps you work yourself into a frenzy and surprise her with a real, savoury goal, and not the own-goals you usually celebrate.

Hmm…

Source : The Observer

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