Sex Talk – Get the Right Seasoning

I can never forget a lunch-hour fellowship during which Apostle Sarah Bunjo urged wives to pray to God for the right “seasoning”, as one way of stopping their husbands from cheating.

She passionately aised them to ask God to add the “right salt”, “reduce the chilli” and “add some gravy” if necessary and so forth, as the congregation collapsed in hysterics. But I remembered that sermon today as a backdrop to another marriage that is in trouble purely as a result of the wife’s “seasoning”.

For this kind of “seasoning” works from the outside, going in. This madam is quarrelsome! As a result, by her husband’s admission, they are counting years, not months, without sex. Remember, bitterness, anger, nagging, stress, unforgiveness, all take away g ingredients from your “marinade” and it would take a real martyr to turn a blind eye and pretend to enjoy making love with you.

It is similar to coming home very hungry, only to find the rice cooked with so many stones and the stew having too much salt. Not to hurt your spouse’s feelings, you chomp through the teeth-breaking stones and smile through the burning salt, only to spit it all up the moment she turns the other way.

Or take cows. I have heard butchers and vets say that when a cow is mistreated during transportation or otherwise, upon slaughter not only is its beef tough, but is also lacking in some nutrients. In fact, according to a friend who owns a farm, he singslays music and massages his Friesians regularly, to keep them happy and stress-free, because that way they yield maximum milk supplies. When they are distressed they halve their yield.

That is not far from what great sex requires for ingredients. You cannot hop into your marital bed angry, scared or bitter your intimate details will translate your horrid mood into a bad performance, unless your spouse is very patient as a lover, to first work the kinks out each time you make love.

One husband, weary of his wife’s constant bad mood and yelling at him in and out of bed, transformed from his usual stud-self, to a regular beeper, infuriating his already angry wife further.

On a rare romantic occasion when she actually came to him willingly and responsively, he put on a spectacular performance and his wife asked him whether the magic was brought on by Viagra or secret gold dust he confessed he lived in fear of her mood swings, thus the performance anxiety.

Madam has since taken deliberate steps to manage her stress and anger, and their sex life has been the first beneficiary. There is no way your mouth can spew bitterness and nagging and then expect your honeypot down-low to flow with milk and honey she will spit out stones and daggers.

Before long, the search by your husband for milk and honey in foreign lands will start in earnest. So, before you even seek out marriage counsellors and sex therapists, ask yourself: is my seasoning okay? Based on my character and how I feel, isn’t it possible that my marinade has way too much tanginess these days, and has become repulsive?

An abusive husband who believes he is also a good lover, is a joke. You cannot batter your wife and generally evoke fear in the bedroom, and not expect her to – at best – fake an orgasm, just to cut short your physicals in her bed.

Well, like the woman of God said, pray for better ingredients that will make your servings more delicious however, it is also a conscious effort. The more nasty tantrums and rants you throw over the sex drought in your marriage, the drier [literally] conditions will become.

Work on the seasoning and watch that right recipe draw your spouse back, begging for more. Just like a well-marinated steak thrown onto the grill, you wont need much aertisement for spouse-dearest to come and eat you will be irresistible.

Source : The Observer

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