Ten years ago The Observer came to be. One year ago, I wrote the first article for this column.
Every day, someone is celebrating a birthday, the memory of a loved one, a job promotion, a first kiss, marriage anniversary… something. What puzzles the rest of us who do not have the fortune of being Martians is why the concept of remembering and marking an important milestone is so alien and disagreeable to you.
Why do you make up excuses to ignore birthdays and anniversaries? “I forgot!” is no longer a valid excuse. Even the 20k phones have reminders with alarms. Set the dates down. If you don’t remember when you first met, ask honey dearest for the wedding, there should be a certificate hanging on a wall somewhere or ask a family member… just find things out.
Of course, I can now hear all of you planning to have no battery power or to lose the phone – finding more excuses. Why? What is so unappealing about celebrating life? It is short enough as it is, why waste time moaning? When a man talks about an anniversary, it is almost in pain: “I hear it is our anniversary… ” You hear? What, were you not at the wedding?! With who would you rather we celebrate this milestone? The best man?!
I am just saying things happen! If you don’t want them to, stand up and be counted. Quit making us seem like lunatics who are forcing themselves upon you or, worse, like you are not even in the relationship. You cannot be that disinterested in what concerns someone you profess to love! Come on!
Is it a macho thing akin to taking pride in not bathing or shaving? You all sit around a beer pot, like your ancestors sat around the first fire, and whine about how the women folk will not leave you alone? He who moans the loudest and ignores the most of the things his woman requires him to remember is the manliest of the heap? Hogwash! We are not impressed.
Moan all you like, even pretend to forget to impress your boys but you better be enthusiastic and aware of what we are celebrating when you show up. No, we are not asking for a boat cruise or expensive jewellery. Well, not all of us and not always.
We are asking you to remember: it tells us you value whatever this is. How you choose to honour the occasion is up to you (unless of course we have everything planned in which case you are off the hook!).
Be creative, be spontaneous, send a text, pick a flower and leave it by a glass of juice, send lunch delivered from the kafunda of our first date… anything! Just remember and take part in the celebration. That isn’t too hard, is it?
Now for you Martians who are on very good behaviour concerning anniversaries, pretend you just didn’t read this and then pass it on to another Martian. You just may be saving a relationship today.
Source : The Observer