We have all heard the phrase, “treat them mean, keep them keen”. It refers to playing games when trying to win someone you love.
In reality though, does this aice make sense? Is playing games really the right way to go in matters of the heart?
So, firstly the rules of playing hard to get for women include: not being the first to text, not writing messages longer than he writes, giving him lots of attention one day and going quiet the next so that he misses you, and not always being free to meet.
The less available you are, the more desirable you become, is the theory. So in the early days, don’t call him every day and don’t respond to his calls and messages straight away either give it a few hours or even a day. Also not over sharing and choosing to come across as secretive is sexy it also provides the man with the opportunity to search you out a task he will relish.
Some say suggesting that other men are after you is a good strategy, as jealousy and competition riles up a man’s ego. So, why do it? Well justifications include the fact that it will make a man want you more. It will show you how hard he is willing to work to get you, and also the effort he puts in, will make you want him more.
I asked a few of my male friends what they think of 22-year-old Martin’s thinking that “women who play games are a turn off.”
But 27-year-old Drew disagreed, stating: “The thrill of the chase is what it is about no guy wants a girl who is too easy. I want one who is going to make me work hard for her heart. The game- playing is the best part it sets up the passion for the relationship and the sex.”
My 36-year-old friend Morris believes that game-playing works when young. However, as men grow older, indulging a woman that plays hard to get is just too much work.
He says: “By the time I met my wife, I was 30 and had no time or patience to be chasing someone and trying to read their mind and work my schedule around them. I wanted to be with her and had she not been straight, I would not have hung around. Those games are child’s play. The older men get, the less they have time for such nonsense.”
I then spoke to two girlfriends Harriet, who has turned game-playing into an art and Diana, who wears her heart on her sleeve and refuses to indulge in what she calls ‘childish stupidity.’
Harriet will date a guy disappear for a day or two before calling him. She will always take 24 hours to confirm when she can meet up with a man and make him wait and she never ever calls or texts first.
Diana likes to keep things straight. “If I like a guy, I will tell him and expect the same from him. Many men get fed up and if they see a woman blowing hot and cold, they lose interest and disappear. When you want to get serious with someone, don’t play games,” she says.
Ironically, of all the people I spoke to, those that do not play games are the ones with partners and in happy relationships. The others I guess are too busy playing with hearts instead of winning them.
Source : The Observer