It is dawning on me that men (or at least the ones in my circles) do not have a sense of humour – or that at best it is very limited and very selective.
I, on the other hand, treat everything ridiculous first as a joke before I allow myself to think that the other person might actually be serious. I had a neighbour once that showed up at my door with food at 9pm because earlier in the evening I had found him at the neighbourhood vegetable kiosk and I made small talk about late dinner. He invited me to share the dinner and I said ‘kale.’
Isn’t that what you say when someone asks you to join in on a meal? Where I come from, you are allowed to say ‘Let me come right back’ even when you are heading to the airport to catch a plane! But here was neighbour with a dish of food. Since I never cooked (still don’t), I was pleasantly surprised.
But not all jokes have delicious endings. I have lost a few friends and probably sullied my reputation on account of my inability to see through the ridiculous. I once received a text message that read: ‘Will you marry me?’ My response? ‘Yes!’ was a joke in response to another joke.
This is a guy who had never even said he liked me. We had worked on a couple of projects and forged a friendship based on being the only two Luo natives in the group. That means we had moments when we excluded everyone else from conversation as we spoke our mother tongue.
Colleagues then teased that he must be wooing me and thus the need for secrecy. We laughed. Months later, he asks me to marry him, via SMS. It had to be a joke, right? When he didn’t respond to my ‘yes,’ I concluded that the message was sent to a wrong number.
He started calling too often and at odd hours. Asking odd questions like what would my parents expect of him… Oh yes! He was serious! Madness! Should I have added a smiley face and ‘LOL’ to the ‘yes’?
Another guy invited me to join him on holiday. He didn’t even have my phone number: RE: we were not friends. But there was an email asking for my passport details so he could book tickets. WHAT?!! That is how horror movies start! He was stung at my rebuttal because he wasn’t joking when he invited a near stranger to fly off with him into the sunset. Seriously! How was that not a joke?!
A friend to whom I later narrated the ordeal simply said I was naiumlve to not realise I was very expensive sex. I guess I should have been flattered. Not really. If you want to be treated seriously, don’t be ridiculous! Otherwise, learn to laugh when it happens and do not carry a chip on your shoulder.
Me thinks you actually do start out joking and when the girl plays along, you decide that perhaps, just perhaps, if you pretend you were serious it might get you past the gate without a ticket. But, as I am sure you have learned, that doesn’t always work. Dinner and flowers first… at the very least!
Source : The Observer