I am in love with our maid-of-honour –to- and she is three months pregnant with my child. What I can I do? Gregory A.
Dear Gregory, you seem to have let yourself into a difficult situation. You say you are in love, with your maid of honour, I know there are temptations, and indeed these come by. But, look at the causes and how did you deal with them?
Gregory, temptations will come our way any time, but how we deal with such situations is important in order to avoid future mistakes that may hurt our loved ones and other people. There is need for you to take a decision to open up to your fiancée and let her know what has happened to you and better still seek further counselling from a professional counsellor.
Just in case you cannot easily get one, then get an elder or a person of high regard that you and your fiancée trust and confide in and talk to him or her about your challenges. It could even be a couple. Gregory, I would suggest that during the reconciliatory meetings do not go on defensive.
Here, your woman may be so angry because of the act and she might even say hurtful words to you. The best you can do is listen and apologise and where you need to put some facts right, do so apologetically.
However, for the reconciliation to progress you may have to let go of your maid-of-honour to be and concentrate on mending your relationship with your fiancée. But, take responsibility of the child as he or she is innocent. This also means that you may have to let your wife know about your child and discuss the way forward for him or her.
Your wife may feel so angry and reluctant to accept the child in your family as the child may act as a permanent trigger to betrayed relationship by her friend. Much as this has happened, the child is innocent and did not choose her father or mother.
We all do not know how your wife or maid-of-honour-to-be will react especially as your wife was betrayed by her two best friends you and her maid of honour to-be. Sensitivity in this matter is paramount.
Uncle Joe Musaalo is a Counselling Psychologist
SOURCE: Daily Monitor