City Dude – Say What, World Cup Left Some Lessons

Welcome to the first weekend since the end of World Cup.

There isn’t much football on TV right now. It is time to catch up on that ‘bedminton’ time you have missed because you had to stay up late to catch the soccer action. We can only hope that when you were out watching the 1am game, there wasn’t any dangerous substitute in your bed.

The biggest football party may be over, but the talk is still on. No one can forget the way Bra-zeal was humiliated by football made in Germany. Since then I am pretty sure many women have yanked out their fake hair imported from Brazil, blaming it for being the reason no man wants to keep them. Someone should instead start importing hair cut off dead German women.

Speaking of women, did you see how they took to the pitch in their short shorts and skirts showing off their tanned legs after their men had beaten Argentina? There was so much kissing and hugging on the pitch. Fifa forgot to warn the viewers that the final game was not for children below 18 years.

The celebrations went on all night after Rihanna, who had also been in the stadium rooting for the eventual winners, joined them. Maybe next time we have a crucial match at Namboole, Irene Ntale should be in the stands.

It is weird how none of the WAGS (wives and girlfriends) from Argentina came onto the pitch to take ‘selfies’ with their beaten men. That sounds something like Ugandan women would do. But women the world over are of the same design. They avoid losers like the plague. But one loser stood out – Lionel Messi. The Messi-ah’s magic stood out throughout the tournament, leaving his archrival, Christiano Ronaldo, eating the grass left behind by his magical boots.

He may not have carried the grand prize but he was recognised for his individual performance with the golden ball for the best player. Ronaldo apologists were not happy about this. For them, Neymar or James Rodriguez (Colombia) deserved the golden ball. Manuel Neuer took home the golden gloves for best goal keeping. His woman must be happy with his humongous hands, if he knows how to use them well, that is.

They should be so skilled they can caress from head to toe and back in a blink of an eye. If anything, Messi should be recognised for single-handedly leading his team to the finals. Even in real life, nobody remembers the rest of the guys a chick has been with. It is the last man standing on the day of kwanjula who gets the muko’s luwombo and the respect that comes with it, regardless of how many guys ‘hit it.’

Ray Jay should have sung about making Kim Kardashian famous with that sex tape instead of his song, I Hit It First, because Kanye hit it last and better. All I am saying is that, guys, when you get a nice woman, try your best to keep her.

Same applies for you ladies. So that when the time is ripe, you will come out on top, like Messi. All that huffing and puffing, Christiano style, will leave you empty-handed and self-pleasing will be your only solution.

Source : The Observer

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