City Dude – I Ain’t Having a Crush On Irene Ntale

What is wrong with Kampala girls? I do not understand what makes them think they are all beautiful and every guy wants a piece of them even when they are a groupie surviving off one of their hot friends.

All of them start imagining that they are fine. I wish they knew. Most guys will admit to this try stopping a random babe. Do not hiss like the boda guys be polite and say, “excuse me.” More than half will ignore you or give you ‘the eye.’

One time I sat next to this hot chick in a taxi. I was minding my own business (truth is I stole a few glances but that did not warrant her attack on me). She fired off in Luganda, “Naye muyaaye gwe otunula!! Otamya n’omuntu obulungi bwe. Oba agasajja gaaba ki??! Mwena muli mbwa bubwa.

Kati olabika oyagala kunkwana!”

Loosely translated, it meant that I was staring too much, I made her hate being beautiful. She went ahead to say how all men are dogs and that she had read my intentions: I wanted to ask for ‘some’ from her. All this time I was quiet but I decided to fire back.

“I have been wondering how one person can have such a pretty face and an ugly body. You look like a cross between Golola and Zari. When you opened your mouth you have erased all doubt,” I said, sending the other passengers into bouts of laughter. She never uttered a single word again during the entire journey.

Our girls need to style up. If a dude is checking you out, maybe you are hot. Maybe one of your fake eyelashes has fallen off. If you are walking away and a guy tries to get your attention, do not jeer and simply walk away. Perhaps he wants to tell you that you have left a little red mark where you were seated.

So, instead of sparing a few seconds talking to a stranger, you decide to walk around embarrassing yourself. Have you noticed that 99 per cent of the girls playing hard-to-get are busy posting selfies on Facebook while there are more beautiful easy-to-get-along-with friends getting married? Dudes no longer have time to waste.

Which brings me to the point of Irene Ntale. Why do people think I have a crush on her just because I like her music and post pictures of her on my Facebook page? Truth is, she is the hottest act on Uganda’s music scene right now. All of you who used to compare her to Fille need to repent your sins. It is not her fault that she has a beautiful voice and she is smoking hot.

I know what you are thinking: “He is in denial.” Well, let me be. I remember her from her days with Uneven Band, doing rock in that sexy husky voice. Yes, those days of Politiqx. Her attempt at playing a guitar at Aziz Azion’s concert I was there. Now all of you are singing along Gyobeera pretending to be her number one fans. Oh please! Let us assume I have a thing for her. Well, we are two conceding adults, I think we can do magic together!

Source : The Observer

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