It is that time of the year when the number of babes ready to show some skin drastically drops.
The numbers drop so low that if our economy depended on skimpily- clad women, we would be going through some kind of economic crisis. To some extent, the hot bodies enable the bars, salons and restaurants, among others, to make more money. The rate at which a normal guy buys alcohol more than doubles when a sizeable amount of cleavage is displayed his way.
I am sure the ladies and bartenders agree with me on this one. For the guys who have been wondering what is happening to our nightlife, the holy month of Ramadhan is with us. A big up to all the men and women who are genuinely fasting Ramadhan Kareem. Woe unto you who are pretending to have ulcers.
Almighty God is watching you. May he reward you with real stomach-wrenching ulcers so that you know how those who have it suffer. Like it is in most religions, sex is supposed to be a preserve for the married ones. So, my dear sisters please do not tempt our fasting brothers.
If you can, give them space. Maybe you can visit but do not do the things you do to seduce him (you know them). In fact the issue of copulation is so serious that even the married ones have to wait for darkness. No getting busy in broad daylight because it is the fasting time.
Speaking of daylight, did you know the biggest problem may not necessarily be hunger? The challenge is always thirst. So, if you are around people fasting, please respect them quench your thirst and hunger away from them. As we enter another weekend, expect less thigh-power shows under the neon-lights.
This month is also known for shortages of dime in people’s pockets. Even the beer sales drop. In fact this is the time breweries feel the absence of our Muslim brothers and sisters. Guys, if you have been chasing some ka Muslim bird and she has been tossing you around, you need to wait for this month to end before you start trying again. No real fasting Muslim chick will give her goodies in this month.
Actually, if she didn’t let you in during the last weeks towards fasting, forget all about her. Because that was crunch time they prepare for a full month of celibacy. I have a buddy who went on a sex spree right before fasting kicked off. I have this feeling that instead of the ‘Happy Eid’ text messages, all this brother will receive will be ‘hey dude, I missed my Ps (periods).’
Then a frantic search for them will start. This period also teaches us that you do not have to over-expose your body to look sexy or beautiful. There is something beautiful about a well- covered lady.
Especially, if you are used to seeing her in those ‘see me’ kind of outfits. To me she looks like a gift waiting to be unwrapped and discovering what lies underneath. Who doesn’t like a beautiful gift?
To all my Muslim friends, Ramadhan Kareem once again. I am available for the feasting, come Eid day.
Source : The Observer