One day, Miss Snappy in her early 20s was chatting with a ‘friend” and this is the response she got – “You are ugly. Your gums are dark which is not cool at all. We need to trim the hair around your forehead to make you look better”. From then on, Snappy had the image of an ugly person, her self-esteem was crushed. In her late 30s, her eyes were opened. She got to know that actually dark gums in some cultures are a sign of beauty. Then, she got to hear that she is fearfully and wonderfully made when she got to one of the churches. Now, her self-esteem is much higher now.
The lesson is that sometimes we hear people’s negative opinions or prophecies and choose to believe them. Then, that’s what seems to manifest in our lives. You have to find a way to create a shield around you against such moments because that can bring you down. This is how
Remember it’s just an opinion
Yes, that’s what it is. It doesn’t make it a fact. When someone says something you believe that is way off the mark and meant to put you down, just pause and tell yourself – “it’s their opinion which they are entitled to. It doesn’t make it a fact.”
Get a trusted mentor or coach
When you have someone who you trust and they believe in you, they will tell you the truth. Get their perspective. Ask them in terms of what they think. Even if it’s true, it won’t be framed in a way to crush your spirit but you will be reminded to work on that area to become a better person.
Keep a distance from negative people
Make an audit of people you have in your circles. Keep a distance from those you believe to be negative because they can become a dangerous influence on your life. Instead, choose to be around the positive ones and you will dramatically decrease the chances of receiving negative “prophecies”.
Make your inner voice positive
I usually aise people that it’s not what people tell you that matter the most but rather what you tell yourself. So, you may be complaining about what other people are saying about you, but I want you to listen to your inner conversation all day. Is it positive? Is it uplifting? If not, then it’s time to awaken the positive you by saying positive statements to yourself like “I can do it”, “I will finally get what I want”
In case you experience what Miss Snappy wrongly heard about herself, all I can say is – snap out of it. Get a grip on your life and take charge. Part of that is to be aware of the conversations and stories told about you and most importantly, what you tell yourself. Keep it on the positive path. If symptoms persist, seek professional aice.
Ethan Musolini is the CEO of Success Africa, a motivational speaker, author and HR consultant
SOURCE: Daily Monitor