A call for kajanja parenting

The video clip continues to do the rounds. I will admit am a coward with minimal ability to watch certain things. I avoid violence I cannot enjoy an action movie the first time and for the longest time failed to watch my favourite football team playing. I wouldn’t watch a chicken being slaughtered. That is just how much I avoid violence.

Given all the talk about the maid caught on camera apparently torturing a young child I opted not to watch it. I didn’t want to add to the heated discussion that was going on partly because I didn’t feel qualified enough to comment but also because everyone just seemed to have something to say about the subject.

So, I kept my peace until I was around a group of lady friends at a funeral who pushed me to give my two cents on the subject.

The truth is I still feel very unqualified especially since I hardly know all the facts….and we all know just how much a story can change with or without details.

Nonetheless, the whole incident is absolutely unfortunate and a total tragedy. I know for a fact that if I were to be in those circumstances, I would be shocked into total and complete numbness. Unlike many who wanted to tear up the maid with their bare hands, I might have literally sat down in desperate disbelief and actually done nothing.

Years ago, I had a domestic assistant who stayed with us for a whole seven years. She was good at most of her work but she had a temper that kept me on the edge. I was years younger than she was and quite desperate. I didn’t think I could get an alternative. One time, I watched her scream at her only child in total amazement. She called him all sorts of things as he cried and clung to her.

She was quite firm raising my young daughter that time. I consoled myself with the fact she guided and helped the child to be responsible and sensible.

The key lesson I pick is what we have debated over and over. Being a parent requires us, more than ever, to be deliberate parents…kajanja parents like one friend used to call it. The government is not going to help us nor will parliament do so by passing one law against the helps.

Sometimes, we will let go of our social engagements or even our jobs to be more deliberate and involved. It means we shall be more observant at home and that we shall pray for the children deeply. We may not be there and the CCTV camera can be corrupted but God is gracious.

We need to re-think our priorities and strategy because this can happen to anyone. We need to think smart and to focus on the now as well as the long term. The warning signs are always there. Are we paying attention and are we heeding to them? May God help us and may He save our land.

jmabola@yahoo.com

SOURCE: Daily Monitor

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