Why you may not graduate with your beauty

We have all seen those wedding shows or read magazine and newspaper stories where the couple claims they met at university and they have never looked back. This is, however, common among our parents, in a time when commitment meant something more tangible.

The recent trend, however, is where hundreds of university relationships end before the semester, that is, if they ever reach as far as being exclusive. The nature of university relationships is the here-and-now kind of arrangement and as much as we try, the kind that “May semester do us apart” are here to stay. So, what makes university relationships fail to go past graduation?

1. Contractual
We look at it as a four-year contract, so the more we stay in school, the less significant the relationship becomes. Everything changes after school the geographical location, friends, status, exposure, etc. In as much as people try to keep the bond, the nature of life after graduation makes it impossible to stay close. No one wants to graduate with a broken heart. It is actually easier to look for a new partner wherever fate will land us, without the hustle of a long distance relationship.

2. Dilemma of more options
At campus, one is surrounded by so many options within the same age bracket. So many will want to test the waters and try to fish out the best. The problem, however, is that the more the options, the harder it is to make up your mind. Having all these options undermines the chance of settling without feeling as if you are losing a better alternative out there.

3. Guarded feelings
Most of us swear never to love again once our heart has been broken. We no longer want to engage in soft rock, binge drinking or in women. So in turn, we teach ourselves not to believe in love – in fact we go as far as denying that love exists. It seems easier to just mess around, having a safe fling, than going through a heart break again.

4. Peer pressure
In this age, romance is not a matter of an individual’s heart anymore. It is a group affair. If your friends don’t put a sign of approval on the person, they do not stand a chance. Love at first sight might get you a tight hug and her number but that is as far as she will go without the approval of her friends. Friends scrutinise our partners more than we do. So we end up working hard to please unknown people. What happened to the days when chemistry was all it took for love to blossom?

5. We are just too lazy or too broke
We do the basics text, call and visit but on the bare minimum – just enough to get us in and keep us there. Very few people want to put in the time, money and energy in making a relationship work. We relax after the ground work and no longer go out of our way to make a big romantic gesture which might hook us in for real. Head over toes turns into just another phrase in the movies, and “we are just somehow together” describes what your relationship really is.

To share your stories, write in to hearttoheart@ug.nationmedia.com

SOURCE: Daily Monitor

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